Transparent Faith || Adoption
We live in a VERY transparent world. And in this transparent world, I too will live transparently with my Faith.
I knew when we first began this journey that it wouldn't be easy. It would be hard. There would be ups and downs and bumps along the way. We would shed tears, have restless nights, and make [what seemed like] scary decisions. But in ALL of this, God has shown and proved Himself faithful throughout this ENTIRE journey.
Have I had moments of human doubt, of course. But GOD is GREATER. Have I had moments where I thought, "there's no way?" Of course, but God said, "Trust ME." And not just "Trust ME" but "DO YOU trust me?" Woah - That moment right there, that question: "Do you trust me?" God brought me to a cliff of what seemed incredibly scary to me. I couldn't see where I was going. I couldn't plan my steps. I couldn't be in charge. And in that moment He said "WALK."
Have you ever walked or driven in thick dense fog? When it is so thick you can barely see the road in front of you? You're not sure what could happen at any moment because the fog is SO thick. You literally can't see where you are going.
This was that moment for me. That moment we met our little man and learned of his needs. And God said, "WALK."
I argued back, "But I can't see where I am going."
And He said, "Do - you - trust - ME?"
And in that moment I said "Yes" and took (what seemed to be) that terrifying step forward the fog began to clear with each step. HE made a way. HE provided. HE opened the impossible doors. HE CLEARED THE WAY. Not me, not my doing, not in my strength, but in GOD's ALONE. He has brought people into our lives and opened so many countless doors that I shake my head at myself wondering why I ever doubted in the first place. And He keeps doing it over - and over - and over again.
Why do I ever doubt?
I don't know how to explain it. I don't know how to share this experience in a way that would enable the person reading this post to experience what has been taking place. But it has been the most INCREDIBLE journey of Faith I have ever been on.
Even now, we face (what feels like) challenges and hurdles to get over in order to travel. Hurdles that had me panicking and thinking "What do we do?!" and "How do I fix this?" If I look at these hiccups and hurdles as something I can or need to fix myself, then my anxiety will run high. But if I TRULY trust and TRULY believe that GOD's GOT THIS, then there is no need to worry. EVER. He reminded me that if He can create the universe and everything in it, what makes me think He can't do this. God's got this!
Music is a passion of mine. Has been for a long time. And not just music in and of itself, but songs that proclaim the goodness of God. This song below has been on repeat for the last 5 days and will continue to be on repeat. I am grateful for this experience. I wouldn't go back and trade any moment of this journey because it has brought my faith to a deeper, richer, and more indestructible place than it has ever been.
I will build my life upon Your Love
It is our FIRM FOUNDATION
I will put my TRUST in YOU alone
And I will NOT be shaken